[Event Post]

[bdsm_kouji]

::So Kouji's sitting at a cafe with a large fancy cake and froofy coffee, pulling out pants and dresses she's wearing. She seems terribly annoyed looking at them. And if you pay attention, she seems a bit too plump to support them. And is making her frowny face.::

Comments

[becomeanwarrior]

[Enjoying some donuts and coffee, himself. Plain simple fare, and glancing at you from across his table.]

Soemthin' the matter, Kouji?

[bdsm_kouji]

I think people are selling clothes as bigger sizes than they actually are.

[becomeanwarrior]

...Selling clothes as bigger sizes? What makes you say that?

[bdsm_kouji]

They're supposed to fit me, but they're too small. I got scammed. And then the sales lady had the audacity to say I gained weight.

[becomeanwarrior]

... You do look-

[ALART ALART, SURVIVAL INSTINCTS KICKING IN, DON'T SAY HEAVIER. DON'T SAY PLUMP. ABORT. ABORT.]

...different. Maybe the clothes are just ill-fitting in dimensions?

[bdsm_kouji]

... Different how?

::Blinks absently.::

[becomeanwarrior]

Like that they don't fit quite right on you. You sure you got the right measurements? Didn't mix any numbers up anywhere?

[bdsm_kouji]

I'm mostly sure. ... Early break, by and by?

[beastkingnaoma]

"What's wrong?"

The gorilla sits down across from you, and is immediately brought food as if ordering it through aura.

[bdsm_kouji]

...

My cloths are apparently from flim flammers.

[beastkingnaoma]

"What do you mean?"

[bdsm_kouji]

They're a size or two smaller than they were advertised as.

[beastkingnaoma]

"....I thought shops did the opposite of that."

He takes a bite of a fancy sandwich.

[bdsm_kouji]

Well they do the opposite of the opposite of that now.

::She does look rounder. Like she ate a 15 foot sub by herself.::

[beastkingnaoma]

He notably looks away while eating.

"So destroy them?"

[bdsm_kouji]

Why.

[beastkingnaoma]

"For making you feel chubby and soiling your pure maiden heart?"

[bdsm_kouji]

I AM NOT FAT.

[beastkingnaoma]

"I said feel! Feel!"

[bdsm_kouji]

::Pulls out the taser.::

I am not a whale!

[beastkingnaoma]

"I didn't say that!"

[bdsm_kouji]

Yes you did say "Fat", you asshole!

::Jabs with it.::

[beastkingnaoma]

"I DID NOT."

He edges out of the way.

[bdsm_kouji]

I have not been stuffing myself with doughnuts!

::Attempts to jab again.::

[beastkingnaoma]

"I didn't say that either."

Edge edge.

[bdsm_kouji]

I AM NOT WIDER.

::Jab jab::

[beastkingnaoma]

He keeps avoiding her.

"You're slender and lovely."

[bdsm_kouji]

How does my dress render me tubby!?

[beastkingnaoma]

"It's smaller than it says so it's too tight so it makes you feel chubby."

[bdsm_kouji]

DUH.

[beastkingnaoma]

"..So why were you trying to tase me?!"

[bdsm_kouji]

Because you kept calling me Big Bertha!

[beastkingnaoma]

"I did not! I said what I just said!"

[bdsm_kouji]

Which was a constant string of fat jokes!

[beastkingnaoma]

"...Fine. I apologize."

[bdsm_kouji]

Fine. You should start eating better by the way. You look hardly delicious.

::Equips ultimate poker expression.::

[beastkingnaoma]

"..What."

[bdsm_kouji]

You look grossly underweight.

[beastkingnaoma]

"..I'm very robust, actually. And why do you care."

[bdsm_kouji]

You'll be subpar breeding stock with such high muscle, low fat builds.

[beastkingnaoma]

"...How would that affect my genetics."

[bdsm_kouji]

It decreases the chances of you passing on your semen due to impotence.

[beastkingnaoma]

"No it doesn't."